This month has been a very trying month for us, it feels like it is never going to end. At the beginning of the month RaKelle got really, really sick and had to stay home from school for a week she was not getting better so I took her back to the Dr. and she had a double ear infection, that happened on the 2nd. I was looking forward to Friday the 3rd because I was planning on taking Jaren to the center and hoping that all the kids would be at school no such luck ALL three home sick. On Saturday we were taking care of a dog for a neighbor and it started having a weird cough I didn't really think anything of it at first because the kids had all been sick with coughs, but it was getting worse. I sent the owners a text and asked them what they would like us to do to help her and they said just to let her rest and give her plenty of water and when they returned on Sunday they would take her to the vet if they needed to. I picked her up and held her for a few minutes and I needed to go get some things done so I handed her to RaKelle and she was holding her and petting her and all of a sudden I heard her screaming, "mom, get up here the dog is not breathing" sure enough I came upstairs and the dog had died in her lap it was so traumatizing and she was hysterical. She couldn't figure out why it died on her and why that particular weekend. She kept saying I killed the dog I didn't do anything to help her and I told her that she did, she was there when she needed comfort and that is ALL that we could do. Luckily we have a Veterinarian in our ward and I called him and told him what had happened and he talked to RaKelle and told her that the symptoms the dog was having she had a heart attack or a blood clot and he couldn't have even done anything for her, that helped a lot. But she did say if a dog dying made her feel this way how could she handle it when her dad dies? I told her I didn't know how we would handle it I don't think we will ever know until it actually happens. So to end the weekend from Hell, Ashlyn woke up Monday with a croupy cough and they all started freaking out because they thought she was going to die because that is how the dog started, so I had to take her in to the Dr so that she didn't think she was going to die.
In all this mess we found out that the kids counselor moved to a different office and we couldn't see him anymore because we don't have a Dr in the office that he moved to, I called for a week to find a new one and found an office but they are booked until the end of July. I told them our situation and they put me on hold for a minute and came back and said that we were on the priority list for cancellation and they were in the process of hiring someone new and the next couple of days we got a call and they could get us in June 4th I took the appointment because I think they all need to go in, and not have to wait until the end of July.
This week was going a little better and then I got really frustrated with Jaren and I couldn't function that night because I was so upset with some things that he was doing. My neighbor took him to a movie on Wednesday during the day because I asked him too so I could get things in order and not have him in my way and so that I could take the afternoon to relax and not be so upset. He enjoyed the movie and that friend wants to take him more, woohoo I am so excited. Friday Braxton had to have some dental work done and I knew he couldn't handle it so I ordered him some oral sedation for the procedure, he did great he was still worried but did fine and didn't have any trouble after, RaKelle asked me if she could stay home from school on Friday because her throat hurt and I couldn't really stop her because I wasn't home when it was time for her to be at school, that night she just kept getting worse and worse and finally at 8:30 pm she asked me to take her to Kidscare because she couldn't even swallow so I took her in and sure enough she had strep throat so bad and the Dr said that it looked like her left ear was still infected. We started another round of Antibiotics she is miserable, her fever broke finally but she still sounds very swollen in her throat. I am not sure why she can't get better maybe so much stress that it is taking a toll on her health and she physically needs to not do anything, I am just hoping that she can make it two more weeks at school and then we can all recuperate for 3 months.
I am getting so burnt out I can imagine that they are as well. I did do some research on some non medical homecare and FINALLY got approved this weekend for some personal home care for Jaren they will come in and help him get dressed and they will help with showers, and shaving and they will also do some housework, I am so excited can you imagine what I can do with 10 hours a week of time that an aide will be taking care of him. We start this week!!!! I can't wait. Hopefully the kids will be able to see that I really do a lot and that we are not crazy and that dad really needs help that we are not able to always give. The validation that will come from an aide coming in and seeing how he really is doing is going to be so nice. Not that I want him to be getting worse but for someone else to see it and not be so close to the situation will be so helpful for me and the kids.
