I have been extremely busy the last couple weeks so I am a little behind. I got my car fixed and registered that is a huge weight off my shoulders. We got Jaren's pump in the mail but we can't get into to see the nurse to help train us on the pump for a month so we can't start using it until then. We have 2 birthdays, Easter, and a baptism with in 2 weeks of each other I am starting to get a little worried about getting everything done. I can't believe my baby will be 8 yrs old on Easter Sunday. He is not supposed to be getting baptized until May but we are going to be doing it earlier so that Jaren will be able to baptize him even if someone has to get in the font with him, the bishop and I decided that if we wait until May and Jaren can't do it we don't want to kick ourselves for not doing sooner so that Jaren could baptize and confirm his only son and the last of our children.
The last two weeks have been so frustrating also when my car didn't pass that was just the beginning. I thought maybe the car would be the trial for that week but of course when it rains it poors. RaKelle had a major meltdown and asked me to help her get some medication that would help her be happy again and not so down all the time, I wanted to cry for her. Then we had an appt with the neurologist and it went ok, nothing has changed and we didn't get to see the doctor for very long so I wasn't able to ask my many questions. We then went from the dr to Parent Teacher and Ashlyn is lying about injuries at school, and she is lying to me about what happens at school and then she gets frustrated when nobody believes her, by the night I was so worn out I couldn't keep up with everything I wanted to just scream and go to bed, but RaKelle had young womens and Ashlyn had activity days so I dropped them both off and was able to sit down for an hour and when I went to pick up Ashlyn someone there pulled me aside and told me how when he has been checking on Jaren for me that my house needs some work and continued to tell me everything that was wrong with my house, I just looked at him and tried not to just start bawling I was so embarrassed and upset that he would even say anything to me like that and he just kept going, I finally said come on Ashlyn we are leaving, I left the house and cried my eyes out I know my house is not perfect and I know I need to do better, BUT I have no time as it is I can barely get dinner on the table and the dishes done, the kids have chores but how can I make them follow through when I am never home? needless to say I asked the bishop not to send ANYONE over anymore to check on Jaren, it is easier for me to call and check on him then to be at work and worry about what people think of my house. Maybe he should walk in my shoes for an hour and then maybe he would realize why I don't have an emaculate house. We got the house really clean thanks to the volunteers that come over so willingly to help us. I have been able to actually keep up on it so far with the help of the kids and Jaren has even been doing his chores. Then Braxton woke up a week ago with Strep throat nobody else has gotten it yet so hopefully they won't.
I am so ready for spring. The weather has been so nice that the kids have been playing outside a lot and it has been nice. I also broke down and bought me a Kindle because I sit at the doctors office so much and I have read all of the magazines and they all have the same kind of magazines and I hate taking big thick books with me because I leave them there and then I have to go back and get them, this way I can stick it in my purse and read books I am so excited I love it already I have even used it and this week we have appts as well so I will get to use it a lot.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Enough is ENOUGH
I am so tired and worn out I have been sick for 3 weeks now it is getting old. I started with the stomach flu and then the next week I had croup, yes croup I hardly ever get sick and I end up with croup how does that happen? my kids didn't even have it, nobody else got it or even a cold. I must be so stressed out that I can't fight off sickness. I have been having horrible nightmares that are so bad I wake up drenched with sweat and screaming. I went to the Dr again today because I thought I had an ear infection, I stopped on my way home to get my car inspected and emissions so that it is legal again and it failed Safey inspection, I think the guys at the place thought I was a fruitcake because when they told me it failed and why I started crying. I just kept thinking one more freaking thing I have to take care of and handle and find a way to get it done so I can get it re-inspected within 14 days.
We were able to get his wheelchair and it is a very nice one and he likes it a lot. I think we finally got the insurance worked out finally for the pump and they also were able to qualify him for a continuous blood glucose monitor which will keep track of sugars 24/7 I know it isn't perfect because the readings can be off but it will make my caregiving life a little bit easier especially while I am at work.
I went with a friend last night to see The Vow and it was so close to home I cried the whole movie, my eyes burned all night because of it, one part on the movie I was sobbing and tears were streaming down my face. I got a little jealous though because they got a 2nd chance at their life together and I know that I will not have that chance. It was a good movie and I liked it. We put our kids and our husbands in the movie the Lorax and went to our movie ALONE and it was so nice and relaxing even though I cried the whole time. I totally understood Leo and how frustrating it was for him to remember their happy lives together and that she remembered nothing about it, she didn't even remembering being married. I also got a glimpse at how frustrating it is for Jaren to not remember things and how they get so agitated and ornery because they don't remember and people expect them to remember everything it was eye opening.
We were able to get his wheelchair and it is a very nice one and he likes it a lot. I think we finally got the insurance worked out finally for the pump and they also were able to qualify him for a continuous blood glucose monitor which will keep track of sugars 24/7 I know it isn't perfect because the readings can be off but it will make my caregiving life a little bit easier especially while I am at work.
I went with a friend last night to see The Vow and it was so close to home I cried the whole movie, my eyes burned all night because of it, one part on the movie I was sobbing and tears were streaming down my face. I got a little jealous though because they got a 2nd chance at their life together and I know that I will not have that chance. It was a good movie and I liked it. We put our kids and our husbands in the movie the Lorax and went to our movie ALONE and it was so nice and relaxing even though I cried the whole time. I totally understood Leo and how frustrating it was for him to remember their happy lives together and that she remembered nothing about it, she didn't even remembering being married. I also got a glimpse at how frustrating it is for Jaren to not remember things and how they get so agitated and ornery because they don't remember and people expect them to remember everything it was eye opening.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Valentines Day
Valentines came so fast this year. Our church has a sweethearts ball every year for valentines day and Jaren and I went to on our very first date 15 years ago, and we have gone every year for 15 years. I asked him last Saturday if he wanted to go with me this year and he said NO it kind of hit me a little hard he always wants to go, I realize he can't dance a whole lot but I thought he would at least want to go for old time sake. I decided to take him anyway so our friends came and went with us so her and I did line dancing and visiting and the guys just sat in their chair and watched us. After we got home we took the kids all out for ice cream it was really good. I am so thankful for our friends that like to hang out with us and that they have similar issues that we have so they actually get it. On valentines day our friends parents were nice enough to take us all out to the movie and to dinner it was so much fun.
I have been so busy these last couple of weeks I can hardly remember from one day to the next so it was nice to sit down and enjoy a movie and dinner and good company. I have had the flu this week and now I am fighting a cold why do they all have to hit at the same time? I even had to call in sick to work this week and I never do that. I have been really good this winter about not getting sick but I guess I have a lot of stress lately and it kind of hits hard and fast when I am stressed and can't fight it that good. Some things that have happened lately have been good and bad, the insurance approved a wheelchair for Jaren so that is a relief, I am still working on getting a new insulin pump there have been some bumps in the way for that so hopefully it will work out. He also got fitted for a new pair of shoes that are made specially for him with special made inserts to help with the neuropothy in his feet and legs.
The last time I took Jaren with me to visit with my counselor so that he could meet Jaren and get an idea of what I deal with on a daily basis so when I met with him again he told me that he could see why he puts up a good front that nothing is wrong and that when he started asking questions and things he could tell that something in him is not right, it was so nice to be validated with knowing that I am not crazy and he does have problems, I know he isn't the same person I fell in love with 15 yrs ago but nobody can really tell that he is not the same because they don't know him the way I do. It is a very hard job to be a caregiver 24/7 and being pulled in so many different directions with kids, and homework, and work, and dr appts, and housework, and trying to do things for myself so that I don't run out of energy to deal with day to day problems. I am so frustrated with so many different feelings that I am experiencing with the progression of this disease I feel so anxious a lot of the time and sometimes I don't know why or what to do about it, I have a hard time attending church because I don't feel comfortable at church all the time. It is getting harder and harder to leave him at all, he forgot how to write his name the other day and he has also been getting up and turning the nintendo off right in the middle of him playing it, that is so not like him he would play nintendo all day if I would let him and to be honest sometimes it is not worth the fight so I let him play because I can't stand the tantrums. The whole sweethearts ball thing made me realize that we are at a point where he is not able to do a lot of things that we use to enjoy doing, I hope the wheelchair will give him some energy to at least go places together as a family and that he won't get so worn out.
I have a feeling we don't have a lot of time together and I want to make the most of it, but I can't do that if I have so many energy leaks that I can't keep up with everything I don't want to put him in a home but I also have a family to take care of and children to keep healthy and sane. I hope that he can stay with us until his time on earth is done my goal is to make whatever sacrifice I have to, to keep him alive well to the best of my ability and that he will enjoy his last days here at home with us and laughing as a family and enjoying each other without the stress of daily living.
I have been so busy these last couple of weeks I can hardly remember from one day to the next so it was nice to sit down and enjoy a movie and dinner and good company. I have had the flu this week and now I am fighting a cold why do they all have to hit at the same time? I even had to call in sick to work this week and I never do that. I have been really good this winter about not getting sick but I guess I have a lot of stress lately and it kind of hits hard and fast when I am stressed and can't fight it that good. Some things that have happened lately have been good and bad, the insurance approved a wheelchair for Jaren so that is a relief, I am still working on getting a new insulin pump there have been some bumps in the way for that so hopefully it will work out. He also got fitted for a new pair of shoes that are made specially for him with special made inserts to help with the neuropothy in his feet and legs.
The last time I took Jaren with me to visit with my counselor so that he could meet Jaren and get an idea of what I deal with on a daily basis so when I met with him again he told me that he could see why he puts up a good front that nothing is wrong and that when he started asking questions and things he could tell that something in him is not right, it was so nice to be validated with knowing that I am not crazy and he does have problems, I know he isn't the same person I fell in love with 15 yrs ago but nobody can really tell that he is not the same because they don't know him the way I do. It is a very hard job to be a caregiver 24/7 and being pulled in so many different directions with kids, and homework, and work, and dr appts, and housework, and trying to do things for myself so that I don't run out of energy to deal with day to day problems. I am so frustrated with so many different feelings that I am experiencing with the progression of this disease I feel so anxious a lot of the time and sometimes I don't know why or what to do about it, I have a hard time attending church because I don't feel comfortable at church all the time. It is getting harder and harder to leave him at all, he forgot how to write his name the other day and he has also been getting up and turning the nintendo off right in the middle of him playing it, that is so not like him he would play nintendo all day if I would let him and to be honest sometimes it is not worth the fight so I let him play because I can't stand the tantrums. The whole sweethearts ball thing made me realize that we are at a point where he is not able to do a lot of things that we use to enjoy doing, I hope the wheelchair will give him some energy to at least go places together as a family and that he won't get so worn out.
I have a feeling we don't have a lot of time together and I want to make the most of it, but I can't do that if I have so many energy leaks that I can't keep up with everything I don't want to put him in a home but I also have a family to take care of and children to keep healthy and sane. I hope that he can stay with us until his time on earth is done my goal is to make whatever sacrifice I have to, to keep him alive well to the best of my ability and that he will enjoy his last days here at home with us and laughing as a family and enjoying each other without the stress of daily living.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Family Journal
My counselor that I have been seeing has given me so many ideas that I have tried and I absolutely love them all. He suggested that we start a family journal he suggested it before christmas but I forgot totally about it with the holidays and things so I finally got one out and it is so amazing. He suggested that we set it out where ever we will see it constantly and to treat it like it is gold, he also said to make sure that everyone knows that anyone can write in it and read at anytime. The kids have really grasped this concept and they are writing things about school, and RaKelle even opened up to me about some things that she never has before it is so awesome. It has given all of us an opportunity to write stuff that we don't want to talk about and we can answer things on there too. It will be an amazing thing to read when his time here on earth is over.
Another suggestion was to start some traditions with just the kids and I that we do every week, or month, or as often as needed that we can do when Jaren passes away and that they will look forward to every week, or month. So we started to have sleepovers in my room RaKelle sleeps in there on Thursday nights since she doesn't have to go to school until later on Fridays, and Ashlyn sleeps in there on Friday nights, and Braxton sleeps in there on Saturday nights. They love it, they look forward to it every week and they count down the days till they get to do it again, they like that everyone has to go to bed on their night but they get to stay up later with me and watch TV or a movie and then we go to bed. Our neighbor made them Daddy Quilts for Christmas out of Jaren's old clothes and they are so beautiful so they wrap up in them and they use them as covers at "our" sleepover!! It is so neat to see how excited they get to sleep in my bed.
We are still waiting on Jaren's wheelchair, and now he has to have a new insulin pump so we are getting all the paperwork done for that now so much fun for me (not), but in the end it will be worth it (I hope) I know he will not be able to learn a new pump so ALL of his care will be on my shoulders except testing his sugars since he can still do that, the new pump that we chose still uses the insets which is the tubing, so that will be nice too even though I have had to do that for awhile now because he forgets how to do it or he does it so different that the catheter gets bent and he doesn't get any insulin at all. I know I will have to be more attentive to his diabetes but hopefully it won't be a huge adjustment for him because change does not sit with him.
He has been going to Taylorsville senior center on Tuesdays with his friend Noel and they enjoy it. My friend picks Jaren up on their way to the center and then I pick them up from the center and take them home it works out so nicely and it gives us some time to get things done without our little shadows following us wondering what we are doing and why we are doing what we are doing.
Another suggestion was to start some traditions with just the kids and I that we do every week, or month, or as often as needed that we can do when Jaren passes away and that they will look forward to every week, or month. So we started to have sleepovers in my room RaKelle sleeps in there on Thursday nights since she doesn't have to go to school until later on Fridays, and Ashlyn sleeps in there on Friday nights, and Braxton sleeps in there on Saturday nights. They love it, they look forward to it every week and they count down the days till they get to do it again, they like that everyone has to go to bed on their night but they get to stay up later with me and watch TV or a movie and then we go to bed. Our neighbor made them Daddy Quilts for Christmas out of Jaren's old clothes and they are so beautiful so they wrap up in them and they use them as covers at "our" sleepover!! It is so neat to see how excited they get to sleep in my bed.
We are still waiting on Jaren's wheelchair, and now he has to have a new insulin pump so we are getting all the paperwork done for that now so much fun for me (not), but in the end it will be worth it (I hope) I know he will not be able to learn a new pump so ALL of his care will be on my shoulders except testing his sugars since he can still do that, the new pump that we chose still uses the insets which is the tubing, so that will be nice too even though I have had to do that for awhile now because he forgets how to do it or he does it so different that the catheter gets bent and he doesn't get any insulin at all. I know I will have to be more attentive to his diabetes but hopefully it won't be a huge adjustment for him because change does not sit with him.
He has been going to Taylorsville senior center on Tuesdays with his friend Noel and they enjoy it. My friend picks Jaren up on their way to the center and then I pick them up from the center and take them home it works out so nicely and it gives us some time to get things done without our little shadows following us wondering what we are doing and why we are doing what we are doing.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Welcome 2012!
I can honestly say I am so glad that 2011 is over!! I would recap what happened but to be honest my days, weeks, months, all mesh together and I can't remember what honestly happened. I do however know what happened the last couple weeks of December and I want to remember someone very special. My grandma Adams passed away December 16, 2011 from complications with pnuemonia so the Tuesday before Christmas we had to go to Idaho for a funeral. This picture was taken in April of 2009 it is 4 generations of the Adams girls. That was the last time that I saw her, I know its sad but it is so hard to pack up everyone especially Jaren and all of his stuff and go somewhere he gets tired and ornery and so we just didn't have an opportunity to go up.
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| 4 generations of Adams girls |
Christmas came and went and we had a really good Christmas. Christmas eve we have a party at my moms house and my siblings and I rotate families my older brother Mat and his wife Becky and their cute kids had us for Christmas this year and he gave us the best present. He used his points that he had saved up when he travels and was able to give us a 2 night stay at a hotel in Layton. The kids reaction when they opened the present was really fun, they were already trying to decide what swimsuits and pajamas they were going to pack. We went to Layton and stayed at the Townplace Suites and it was so nice and relaxing. The kids got to go swimming in the pool and Jaren and I even got in the pool with them the first night and it was so fun it was almost like old times Jaren had energy and he was laughing with us and playing around in the pool with us it was so awesome. We went to Layton Hills mall Friday and got to shop a little bit because we all had gift cards that we got to use. We then went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks with my brother and his family and it was the cutest show we loved it, then we went to their house for dinner that night and ate together and played Wipeout on the Wii and laughed and just had a great time. We even got to go to dinner on Thursday night to Red Robin I had a gift card for there from a while ago but it was walking distance from our hotel so we walked to the restaurant and ate. We did not want to leave it was so nice. But everything comes to an end I guess. It was just what we needed somewhere to go that wasn't too far away in case something happened but far enough away that we felt like we got away from our everyday life. It was very weird though to share a bed with Jaren again I haven't slept next to him for a couple months now and it was "crowded" now that I am used to having my own space when I sleep. He did really well on our "vacation" and he really enjoyed himself. So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! Mat and Becky for the awesome weekend we absolutely LOVED it!!! That was the best way to say goodbye to 2011!! to bad we couldn't leave all the trials that will face us in 2012, but I was able to relax enough to fill my tank and be able to handle whatever awaits us in the coming months.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
So glad this week is over!!
This week did not seem like it was ever going to end. It started out ok but Tuesday I had been going non stop and so I went to enrichment night to relax and Jaren called half way through to come home because he wasn't doing well at all, so I left and came home to make sure he was ok and he looked horrible his blood sugars were way high (above 600) and I had changed his insulin inset 3 times that day and it wasn't bringing his sugars down so I made him take a shot and I ran to the store to get some powerade zero to keep him hydrated and a neighbor had come over to check with us after enrichment and she called her husband to come and give him a blessing, after the blessing I knew things would get better but I also knew it was going to be a LONG night. I made sure his sugars were going down before I let him go to bed and I made him sleep with me so I could watch them through the night, when we woke up in the morning they were 81 so I called to check him throughout the day and they went up and down all day. I knew that night would affect the kids the rest of the week but I had no idea it would be as bad as it was, when I took the kids to school I went and talked to the teacher to let them know that we had a LONG night, they were very understanding and said they would keep and eye out. Braxton tried to call home and make sure his dad was ok and Jaren won't answer the phone when I am not here so he freaked out and went into the bathroom and then told his teacher he had thrown up and needed to go home, so I had to go check him out, as soon as we got home he was fine. RaKelle was home Tuesday with the stomach flu so I didn't want to leave him at school thinking that he threw up. Thursday they all went to school and I thought everything was ok, and then they all came home from school and RaKelle had a total meltdown and started bawling so I asked her what happened at school and she was crying so bad that she couldn't talk for a minute she finally calmed down enough to tell me that since we hadn't had that much sleep she was so tired and in one of her classes she was stretching and some of the kids in her class were giving her a bad time about it and she said "mom, I can usually just ignore it and I just couldn't today I wanted to turn around and punch her" I asked her if she did hit her and she said no and then started crying again because she said that if she would have hit her she would have been in trouble by one of her favorite teachers and that made her upset. I called her counselor at school and talked to her and she has set up a meeting with all of her teachers so that I can tell them all what she is going through so I don't have to tell them one at a time.
There has been some good that has come this week though. Jaren qualified for a grant to help pay for some respite care, that will help out a LOT I am just so tired of falling through the cracks with everything I try to get help with. This week should hopefully go a lot better and hopefully the kids will be able to calm down and get through the last couple weeks of school before Christmas break.
There has been some good that has come this week though. Jaren qualified for a grant to help pay for some respite care, that will help out a LOT I am just so tired of falling through the cracks with everything I try to get help with. This week should hopefully go a lot better and hopefully the kids will be able to calm down and get through the last couple weeks of school before Christmas break.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
update on the Gordon House
So November has come and gone already, and I haven't written anything down for awhile. Jaren completed his swallow therapy and it seems to have helped he isn't choking near as much as he used to be, the doctor had us come in and they did a nerve conductive test and it was sad to watch him go through that painful test. They discovered that he has Peripheral Nueropathy in is hands, arms, legs, and feet she thinks it is from his diabetes so she told me to keep a closer eye on his sugars which is sometimes totally impossible but I guess I don't have a choice. The week of Thanksgiving was a little bit stressful, RaKelle ended up with pink eye and while I was sitting at the doctor with her on Monday night Braxton called me freaking out because they came and took away Jaren's cane and his walker, since I wasn't home I don't know for sure who came and got it or why they came and took it they could have at least called to warn us they were coming, Thank goodness that my mom was willing to purchase a cane at Walgreens for him. Thanks Mom!! Tuesday Braxton came home from school and the whole soul of his shoe had come off and he has no other shoes, the kids also had a dental appt that day for their 6 month cleaning, I had to cancel RaKelle's because of the pink eye, Ashlyn has to have a new retainer with the two fake teeth in the front thanks to her accident and her mouth keeps growing and so the retainer has to be replaced every so often, they changed RaKelle's appt to Wednesday so I took her on Wednesday and they would like to get her started on Braces soon and her insurance will only pay $1000.00 so it looks like tax returns will go to braces!
Thanksgiving day was really nice we had the feast at my moms house and both of my sisters and their spouses and kids were there and it was fun, then we went to our friends to hang out and play games and eat pie with them and it was so much fun. Of course my mom and I and my sisters and dad all went Black Friday shopping I don't really buy a lot because I don't have a lot of money but it is a lot of fun to go hang out with them. My sisters are crazy and they left at 11:00 Thanksgiving night and so by the time they met up with my mom and I they were starting to wear down but we still had a good time. I didn't get up until 5 to go that morning.
I finally got Jaren upstairs to his own room where he doesn't have to walk up and down the stairs to go to bed, I know this might sound terrible but I am LOVING it I don't think I have slept this good in a long time. Now instead of waking up everytime he moves or gets up or makes noises I don't wake up, he also sleeps much better upstairs I have put him in the room right above me so that I can still hear him if he needs me or gets up when he is not supposed to. It was very wierd at first to sleep without him and kind of depressing just another sign that things are progressing and there is nothing I can do about it. He hasn't had to take a nap hardly at all because he gets much better sleep now, by the night time he is worn out and he goes to bed when the kids all go to bed but that is ok for me!! The neighbors have been able to come over and check on him while I am at work so I don't have to take him to the daycare which is really nice.
Ashlyn has been giving me real problems lately and I don't know what to do about it, I know she is trying to deal with a lot but she is so mean to me, one day she was really mad at me and told me that I suck because I never have money, I told her that I work very hard for what she has and she looked me right in the eye and said dad doesn't, I said "Ashlyn that is not fair you know he can't" and she said well maybe I should get a disease so that I don't have to do anything but sit home. I was so hurt and upset that I locked myself in my room until I could calmly talk to her. She has been a little better the last week and she hasn't even picked on Jaren because I told her if she stopped picking on him for a week she would earn an ice cream trip with just me! she has worked so hard to earn it. We went to parent teacher conference and I found out that she has been faking sprained ankles at school to go down to the office with her friend who also has a fake sprained ankle I couldn't believe it, I told her that what if one day she actually did hurt her ankle and she needed to go call me or get some ice and they wouldn't let her because she has faked it so many times that they don't believe her anymore. I think that she didn't think about that.
Braxton is doing so good in school. The teacher said that he is a good helper and he is kind to everyone but that he is very chatty. He is starting to have some anger issues, he gets mad so easy and freaks out and attacks his sisters, luckily he doesn't at school. I still fight him sometimes to go to school but he is doing a lot better.
RaKelle is doing really good in Jr. High she really likes it. She is even keeping up with her school work. She loves playing the piano and the flute and she is determined to play the flute and be in the choir next year. She has joined the yearbook club so she is helping put the yearbook together for the school and she really likes that as well.
Thanksgiving day was really nice we had the feast at my moms house and both of my sisters and their spouses and kids were there and it was fun, then we went to our friends to hang out and play games and eat pie with them and it was so much fun. Of course my mom and I and my sisters and dad all went Black Friday shopping I don't really buy a lot because I don't have a lot of money but it is a lot of fun to go hang out with them. My sisters are crazy and they left at 11:00 Thanksgiving night and so by the time they met up with my mom and I they were starting to wear down but we still had a good time. I didn't get up until 5 to go that morning.
I finally got Jaren upstairs to his own room where he doesn't have to walk up and down the stairs to go to bed, I know this might sound terrible but I am LOVING it I don't think I have slept this good in a long time. Now instead of waking up everytime he moves or gets up or makes noises I don't wake up, he also sleeps much better upstairs I have put him in the room right above me so that I can still hear him if he needs me or gets up when he is not supposed to. It was very wierd at first to sleep without him and kind of depressing just another sign that things are progressing and there is nothing I can do about it. He hasn't had to take a nap hardly at all because he gets much better sleep now, by the night time he is worn out and he goes to bed when the kids all go to bed but that is ok for me!! The neighbors have been able to come over and check on him while I am at work so I don't have to take him to the daycare which is really nice.
Ashlyn has been giving me real problems lately and I don't know what to do about it, I know she is trying to deal with a lot but she is so mean to me, one day she was really mad at me and told me that I suck because I never have money, I told her that I work very hard for what she has and she looked me right in the eye and said dad doesn't, I said "Ashlyn that is not fair you know he can't" and she said well maybe I should get a disease so that I don't have to do anything but sit home. I was so hurt and upset that I locked myself in my room until I could calmly talk to her. She has been a little better the last week and she hasn't even picked on Jaren because I told her if she stopped picking on him for a week she would earn an ice cream trip with just me! she has worked so hard to earn it. We went to parent teacher conference and I found out that she has been faking sprained ankles at school to go down to the office with her friend who also has a fake sprained ankle I couldn't believe it, I told her that what if one day she actually did hurt her ankle and she needed to go call me or get some ice and they wouldn't let her because she has faked it so many times that they don't believe her anymore. I think that she didn't think about that.
Braxton is doing so good in school. The teacher said that he is a good helper and he is kind to everyone but that he is very chatty. He is starting to have some anger issues, he gets mad so easy and freaks out and attacks his sisters, luckily he doesn't at school. I still fight him sometimes to go to school but he is doing a lot better.
RaKelle is doing really good in Jr. High she really likes it. She is even keeping up with her school work. She loves playing the piano and the flute and she is determined to play the flute and be in the choir next year. She has joined the yearbook club so she is helping put the yearbook together for the school and she really likes that as well.
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