need to vent!!

I am so frustrated right now I could scream, they are going to drop Jaren from Hospice most likely in a week, because he is too stable.  Now what they have helped me out so much I don't know what I am going to do, not to mention now that we won't have hospice anymore we are losing everything his cane, his walker, all of his meds so frustrating.  I can take him to a day program but it is $8 dollars an hour I will be working just to pay for his care.  Needless to say this week has been a living hell.  I called to make an appointment with his neurologist because with hospice we can't see the neuro but if they are going to drop him I have to take him in and get meds and a cane or a walker I have called two days in a row to get an appointment and the "person" that makes the appointments for his Neurologist is covering for someone also and so I have left 2 messages and not one phone call.  I think I want to change my mind about bring on the challenges, I think I am done for awhile.  So the daily routine we have is about to change AGAIN which means more for me to do.

Then why do some people get embarrassed for the things that Jaren has to do or use to help him? it just isn't right, if you can't accept him for him and the equipment that he has to use then don't come and see us or go with us anywhere.  Why do some people just not get the fact that we are NOT normal but we are STILL  human and he also has feelings just like everyone else.

I am having one of those weeks, I can't do anything without him standing right behind me over my shoulder telling me how to do it different and how to, I make something for dinner and he doesn't like it or I ask what sounds good for dinner and he says I don't know, so I suggest something and it never sounds good.  The nintendo playing is driving me absolutely nuts, I can't get him to do anything lately and then I can't get the kids to do anything because they want to play nintendo with him when they get home from school.  Thanks for listening to me gripe.

Jessica and Brian were so nice to take us snowmobiling this last weekend, we had a great time, the kids enjoyed it so much. It was really cold but we still had fun. Braxton was in 7th heaven because he rode with Brian and he did some fancy stuff with the snowmobile and Braxton couldn't wait to go to school to tell his friends that he got to do some cool tricks. They were exhausted that night and went to sleep very quickly it was great. Thanks Jessica and Brian for taking us!!


Ashlyn will be turning 10 on Sunday, I can't believe it, she is growing so fast, and she is acting so much better maybe she will give me a little break until she is a teenager.   Our youngest Braxton will be 7 in two weeks, he is growing like a weed and hasn't stopped.  RaKelle has been asked by our bishop to sing a solo in church she is amazing with anything that has to do with music, she will be singing this Sunday, I don't think she is even nervous she will do an amazing job.  I wasn't sure if she would be able to do it loud enough but I went over with her to practice the other night and I couldn't believe how amazing she sounded.