one of those weeks

This week has been one that I do not want to remember, Jaren woke up with pink eye on Monday in both eyes, and he has pneumonia.  He has been on heavy antibiotics and drops for his eyes and the eyes are looking better but the coughing is still horrible and it sounds awful and like it hurts really bad.  Because of the infections I can't keep his sugars below 200 which is really high.  He is not a very fun person to be around when he is sick, he is ornery, and he whines, and mopes around all day but if I were him I wouldn't even want to get out of bed in the morning so I should just be thankful that he got up today.  He doesn't sleep well at night either so when he is sick it is worse, and when he doesn't sleep I don't sleep I have to stay up with him and make sure he doesn't wander. 

We went to the diabetic doctor on Tuesday and she would like to take him off of the insulin pump and put him on an insulin shot that he would only have to take 2 times a day once in the morning and once at night, which could be a good thing because he would only have to take his sugars twice a day, but his diet would be very strict which means I would have to lock up the cupboards when I am at work and what would happen if he goes low while I am working I would not even know until I came home and he was passed out or something.  Why do some decisions have to be so difficult? Well if there were not difficult decisions we would not learn anything, but do all decisions that I have to make have to be so hard? I can't talk to him about what he wants because he doesn't even remember talking to the doctor about it, so I am on my own.  I can't wait until this week is over, it has been a stressful week and I just want to crawl in bed and stay there until things get easier!! too bad that won't happen anytime soon so I better just take a deep breath and suck it up and hope the week will end better. 

One question I have this week is why do I feel like I am alone?  I feel like I can't hang out with friends anymore because of what we are dealing with and I can't always get away to do the things that others get to do.  I know I have a lot to deal with but don't shut me out because I am not like normal moms or wifes.  I like to do things with friends even though I don't get to stay out for a long period of time, and sometimes I might have to bring along a child or two.