Friday, September 16, 2011
Please, I need some motivation
I have no motivation lately, I went to the Dr. the other day for the major anxiety I have been having and he added 2.5mg of Zyprexa to my other medication I have taken it for two nights now and the first night I could not get out of bed all of the kids were late for school but not by much, I slept right through my alarm. Today I was able to get up but I didn't want to, I need some motivation I don't feel like doing anything at all especially when I get home from work, I don't even want to cook dinner I feel bad because I get really irritated with the kids and I try not to get ornery but sometimes I just can't help it, I went to play volleyball last night with the women in my ward to see if I just needed a break but I still didn't feel any better I just wanted to go home and do nothing. I didn't really realize what panic attacks were until I went to the Dr. and I am having panic attacks, I can't breathe my heart starts racing, I get dizzy, and shaky and I always feel on edge lately, I sometimes have high blood pressure and normally I can control it without medication although I have been on meds before for it but it was sky high the other day 152/100 the dr said that high blood pressure is another sign of anxiety, the problem is though is I have no idea why I am so anxious I have never had it this bad before, I was even crying the other day at work secretly and not bad enough that my eyes were swollen and red but I had tears in my eyes. What is the deal? it could be a number of things- 1) My husband is slowly dying, 2)Braxton fights me to go to school, 3) I am a married but not really, 4) I started work a couple of weeks ago, 5)my kids are all growing up and I can't stop it, 6) my blood pressure is high 7)I can't keep up on house work, 8) I have no motivation to do anything lately, 9)I JUST CAN'T DO IT ALL anymore I am tired and worn out. Hopefully this weekend will help me find the motivation fairy and I will be back on track again next week, I have a girls night planned tonight with some friends from the insurance office I used to work for and nothing else planned this whole weekend and we only have one soccer game to go to and one piano federation to go to but they are in the morning so I can actually get some things done and caught up. If anyone knows where the motivation fairy is staying could you please send it my way?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
So my opinion is your depressed! And for all good reasons. So what I think you need to do is start going to therapy. Therapy is great if you are working with the right counselor They help you see things from a different perspective or teach you how to change your thinking patterns so you can cope with your challenges better. Also having an empathetic ear helps alot! Although the counselor I see doesn't let me spend much time wallowing in self pity he really focuses on me changing what I can and making peace with what I can't change.
ReplyDeleteAlso you need to exercise everyday if possible be it 30 min. walk or jog or bicycle. I know it's hard to fit that into your day but I know that I can jog 3 miles on only 4 or 5 hours of interrupted sleep and it gives me energy for the rest of the day. Although somedays I must say I do have to close my eyes or take a nap around 3:00 to make it through the rest of the day. And Saturday I have to sleep until 8:00 a.m. For some reason excise gives you energy you didn't think you had! Depression causes all those things that you have mentioned and is also a daily struggle for me. And if I let it get me down it takes awhile for me to make it go away and get back to my "I can do anything" attitude.
Jamie Your amazing!!! You CAN DO THIS!!! (Even though you don't want to. Much like the rest of us the deal with Leukodystrophy)
(((HUGS)) to you I wish I lived close so I could cheer you on through this very rough patch in the road of life.
♥
Cindy