Sunday, October 2, 2011

I am still here......physically

My post was kind of a downer last time but that is how I was feeling at the time, it is getting better and I am not as anxious as I was.  We had a dr. appt every single day this week for one of us some days we had 2 appts, thank goodness for the other mom that lives at our house RaKelle some of the appts they had to fit us in and they were right when the younger kids were getting out of school so RaKelle went to the school and picked them up for me and brought them home and got them started on homework and chores it was so nice.  I hate to rely on her so much but I can't do it all by myself even if I try, it has taken me a long time to figure that out, I can't be a mom, a dad, a caregiver, a spouse, a taxi, a housekeeper, a pharmacy, a planner, and everything else I have to do, so having a child old enough to help me out has been amazing, pretty soon she will be able to drive and she has already told me that she can't wait so that she can take the kids to school for me so I don't have to, how sweet!!

We didn't have internet for a week or more because I had more important bills to pay before I paid the internet bill, I can't tell you how nice it was to not have internet I almost didn't want to have it back on but I need it for different things, that is how I communicate through email with some doctors and some other things that have to do with MLD so I had to get it back on, it also comes in handy now that RaKelle is in middle school I can look up her grades and know what she is missing and help her catch up if she is behind. 

Jaren has been in a LOT of pain this past week or two to the point where he is in tears so I called the neurologist to see if they could perscribe him some pain killers and the Dr wants to see him so we are going to see her on Tuesday.  I also started to see a new counselor this past weekend I had an appt with him on Saturday wierd day to have an appt, but he was excellent what an answer to my prayers for right now, he told me that he was into neuropsych and he knows how to read MRI's and so he asked if I could bring them in and he would explain what is going on in his brain and why he acts the way he does.  He is extremely ornery and he has been yelling at the kids alot but I am sure it sucks to be in so much pain.  I took him back to the daycare a couple days a week and they were excited to see him again.  One lady told me that I need to keep a hold of him because he is a hunk, I thought it was funny until I thought about what that would do to my kids if he started talking about a girlfriend at the daycare I never know what he will say about anything I know that it is not anything to be worried about but do the kids know? plus who knows it might wear on me too, it's hard to leave him at a place like a daycare and know that he is being taken care of but not knowing what stories he is telling them.  I know he comes home with some interesting stories.  I love being able to go to work and not have to worry about what he is doing at home and if he is wandering the streets, but it is also hard to drop your spouse of to be watched for the day.  My ward has been really helpful with being willing to stop in and make sure Jaren is safe and that if he needs anything they are there to help him. 

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