Define Luxury

I am sure that there are many definitions of luxury, but my definition of luxury is probably a lot different than most, I would define luxury as going to bed at night and not having to worry if your spouse will wake up in the morning, taking a shower without ANY interuptions, sitting down for 5 minutes and not have to think about what I have to do next, or what will happen next, when is it my turn to enjoy things, I feel like I give up so much to provide for my family when do I get a minute to refuel so that I can keep going? I know this sounds wierd but to be honest I enjoy going to the doctor or dentist for myself because it gives me at least 30 minutes to be ALONE my doctor laughs at me when I come in by myself and he asks me where everyone is and I tell him at school or at home I am enjoying my break!!

This week I haven't had any dr. appts for myself but Jaren has had plenty, we had a swallow study done last Thursday and it was the coolest thing to watch, but they did notice some problems with his swallowing so we start swallow therapy on Friday to see if things will improve, they also told us to start thinking about a feeding tube, I got a little scared at first but then I thought about how much easier it would be to give him his medications.  He also had a evaluation for a wheelchair and to be honest the lady freaked me out a little, she told me I needed to make all of these changes to my house and that I needed to take some of my seats out of my car, I can't make changes to the house it doesn't belong to me, plus how will I pay for it? she is trying to get him a motorized wheelchair but I think that would be more work for me, I would be just fine with a manual one I called his doctor to have the prescription changed to a manual one because I can't make all those changes, if I took seats out of my car I wouldn't have anywhere to put my kids.  I feel like he really needs a wheelchair because he can hardly walk sometimes because the pain is so bad.  I don't know what to do for the pain anymore, I am having a hard time watching him go through so much pain.  We are working on getting a bed moved to a room upstairs so that he doesn't have to climb up or down stairs, Ashlyn is giving up her room so that he can have a room and I am staying downstairs in the master bedroom for now because I am being selfish and I want to be able to sleep for a couple nights without having to wake up at his every move, if the pain does get so he can handle it I hope he will be able to come back down but if not I will eventually move up there with him even though I like my room.