some good, some bad

Good

I have been in the process of trying to start a support group for FTD (frontotemperal dementia) in the evenings for the caregivers who work during the day like myself.  I finally got word on Thursday that I got approval to do a support group at the Bingham Creek Library for an entire year, it will be every 2nd Wednesday of the month at 6:00 to 7:30pm I am so excited.  I know support groups are sometimes the only thing that gets people through the day or week.  It is people that know what you are going through and that can empathize with you and you can say anything and they know exactly what you mean and they validate you and your thinking process.  I can't wait to get started.  The first one will be September 11.  I think that this will also be very therapuetic for me as well.




Bad


There is always some bad with the good, and I know this isn't just me going through this part but I seem to not be able to handle it as well with Jaren changing so fast and my blood pressure being out of control.  When I went in to the doctor for my BP it was 180/110 I started medication and it stayed high but when I went in for a BP check on Thursday it was 122/88 I can't tell you how relieved I was.  The kids have been fighting so bad lately I finally couldn't take it anymore on Saturday and sent everyone to their rooms so I could be alone for a minute.  RaKelle has been so rude to me lately, and if she isn't being sassy and rude it's Ashlyn, and Braxton just eggs it all on and then cries when he gets hurt.  I finally let them out of their rooms and we talked and I told them that either they have to be better at not fighting and being mean to me or I have to put dad in a home I can't be the mom and the dad and the caregiver and take care of everything that he needs, I know he needs a lot more attention than they do, and I know I don't have enough energy to do it all but I am trying my best.  They have not fought at all YET today I think maybe I finally made it stick in their heads that I am trying my best and I can't do it all and they need to help out by not fighting.  I had to make sure and thank them for helping me as much as they can with Jaren, and I am so thankful for what they do.  But the fighting has to stop.  I know siblings fight and I know that sometimes it will escalate but 24/7 fighting is way to much.