very emotional

The girls went to Brighton camp this week so it was just Jaren and I and Braxton home.  We did a lot of fun things together but we missed the girls like crazy.  They went the whole entire week and didn't call me once, Ashlyn said that she only cried once or twice which is really good for her. 

Thursday night Jaren wanted to sleep downstairs with me so I helped him down the stairs and it was hard to get to sleep because I am not used to him being right next to me.  My brain started turning and I started crying he actually put his arm around me and I realized how much I miss that and how lonely I am even when he is right next to me.  I miss his kisses, and I miss cuddling with him.  Friday has been a really weird day it seems that last night it was all a dream.  I hate MLD and I hate that it has taken away my best friend and I hate that he is not the same person I married.  I try really hard to stay positive most of the time about all this crap but I feel like sometimes it is ok to break down and feel sorry for myself once in a while.

Now to something more positive, we were able to go and meet up with a family from Arizona that is also living with loved ones with MLD and it was really fun to meet them and to talk with someone else.  They have the most beautiful kids and they are so fun to be with and to talk to.  They are a very positive family and they are amazing to me.  I am so thankful for the many friends a families that we have been able to come in contact with because of MLD but I still dislike the disease very badly. 

I have the opportunity to teach relief society this coming Sunday and I am a little nervous I have never taught and adult class before I am used to teaching children so it should be interesting.  I guess I have something to learn from the lesson, it is about Charity and helping others out is what I am getting from what I have read a million times.  I hope that people will get something from the lesson and that I can teach with love and not offend people.  Maybe I am not the person to teach this lesson!